Wednesday, 4 July 2012

The Ugly Truth

When I decided to start this Blog I was adamant it was going to be a warts and all look at my life. I did not want anyone to ever think that because I have special  needs children I am some kind of  Superhero, running around to appointments, dealing with meltdowns all while looking fabulous, cooking gourmet meals and keeping my house sparkling clean. The only part of that statement that relates to me is the running around to appointments and dealing with meltdowns. My kids are healthy and usually happy. The rest of my life is in total disarray...
Today's post may be upsetting  for some. If you suffer from OCD or are one of those super organised, nothing out of place types...


Today I cleaned out my car...
I washed it too.
Nothing exciting about that?

Well it is if it is the first time you have done it in a LOOOOOONG LOOOOONG time. I'm talking years not months. Sure I've done the odd surface clean but seriously have not vacuumed or washed it for about 3 years!
I am sure some of you think I am exaggerating (as I tend to do) so I  took photos as proof of my shame.

This is what I removed from the car

See what I  mean?

As well as two bags of rubbish there was:

  • 5 pairs of shoes
  • 10 odd socks
  • assorted pieces of lego including but not limited too, 4 heads, 2 wings from space ships, a lightsaber, 1 set of legs, hair, a minifigure and Boba Fetts visor.
  • An air matress (no idea)
  • 3 bike helmets
  • 4 blankets
  • a bucket and spade
  • 4 swim hats
  • 3 weighted diving thingys
  • 2 school hats
  • 2 T-shirts
  • a pair of undies (not mine)
  • pencils and textas
  • Pegasus (Dora has been looking for him)
  • an egg beater (again no idea)
  • fairy wings (don't know how she's been getting around)
  • extension strap for a baby capsule
  • toy piano (should have thrown that out)
  • 2 bowls
  • 3 water bottles
  • 1  My Little Pony 
  • 4 books
After all of the above was removed I vacuumed this from the floors

I love my car, well it's actually a van, but the years have flown by. We bought our *People Mover* the day after my youngest, Darcy, was born. It was beautiful. The newest car I have ever owned. All shiny and modern and best of all lots of room. Eight seats, which meant it could fit our family of six plus room for two more.You know, for all those play dates and outings we were going to have with the kids friends...
Not long after Darcy was born Pierce was diagnosed with ASD and shortly after Ryan. What happened to my lovely shiny car over the next three plus years sort of symbolises what happened to our life...
Those two spare seats are rarely,  if ever, used.  The sparkle seems to have gone and at times it's like one giant mess...BUT if you spend the time and put in a lot of hard work the shiny is there and we appreciate it more because we worked so hard to find it.

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Warning: Contains Explicit Language

I turned 40 on Tuesday. Happy Birthday to me...NOT! I spent the first part of my birthday with my head entrenched in the toilet bowl, thanks to a nice little stomach virus my little darlings decided to share with me, and the second part semi consious trying to will away the god-awful feeling that someone had decided to use my small and large intestines for shoelace tying practice.
Normally that would be enough to send me over the edge of self pity I am usually teetering on right into the pits of Why Fucking Me Land,but not this year because tomorrow night I am going out,well not just out I am actually going away for a whole kids. I know!  HUGE!!!!!
I didn't even care that my illness lasted into the second day and so put me two days behind on my plan of escape. I felt brilliant this morning, got the kids to  school without any dramas and began my list of things to do. Clean my pig sty of a house was top of the list. I want to enjoy this weekend and not have to worry about messy bedrooms or filthy floors. I was on fire and well on my way to mission completion when it was time to pick the kids up. I was not concerned that I still had to get a few things from the shops, order and pick up pizza (no need to mess up a clean kitchen when we can have pizza) and finish moping the floors and cleaning the bathroom which I planned on doing while colouring my hair because today I am the Queen of Multi-Tasking.
Things started to deteriorate when I arrived at the boys school. Ryan was first out of the gate. No Hello but that is not unusual.
ME: "Did you have a good day?" .
RYAN:  "Yes,  No, I don't bloody know why do you have to ask such stupid questions?"
I began to rethink my idea of doing shops/pizza on the way home.
Shaun was next, his usual chilled out self.
Then Pierce and his Aide. We started to have a bit of a chat about Pierces day when I hear a voice from the car scream. "STOP TALKING DON'T YOU KNOW I'VE HAD A BAD DAY?"
Ummmm I think we established that with my previous question?
Definitely not a great idea taking *that* to the shops. Thankfully my Mum lives one door away from us so I took Shaun and Ryan home and continued on with my plan with Pierce and Darcy in tow.
I decided to order the pizza before we shopped so I could pick it up on the way home. Not easy with two kids screaming while trying  to escape from the car but I did it.
Next the shopping. The instant we entered the shop Pierce went into Aspie mode. Spinning like only an Aspie can. Arms outstretched twirling to his hearts content as if there was no one else around. I guess in his head, at that moment, there wasn't. Then Darcy decided this spinning thing looked like fun. Awesome. I now had two kids spinning their way down the aisles with me trying to warn people as they headed their way. Darcy not being a regular *spinner* began to fall over and run into shelves but this did not deter her. Three aisles down and I decided I didn't really need the rest of the things on my list and headed for the checkout. Once there the spinning stopped and the *why is it taking so long* began. My nerves were a little frayed by the time I had paid for my things and were totally gone by the time I got two giddy, hyper kids back to the car. Then Darcy decided to pull an *I'm not getting in my seat* moment.Every time I buckled her up she unbuckled and started climbing around the car.Pierce getting impatient for his pizza started screaming at her and I finally got her to sit still and we were off. My earlier winning attitude had given way to *Lord just get me home.*
Sounds like hell, right? Well just wait til you read what happens next!
Two minutes down the road and I hear the car behind me beeping his horn frantically. WTF????
We came to a halt in the line of traffic and the elderly gentleman hopped out of his car and walked up to my window. (It gets REALLY good now)
OLD MAN: "I just saw a red wallet fly off the roof of your car as you drove out of  the Bi-Lo carpark.
Yes,  in the chaos I had decided it would be a good idea to place my wallet on the roof of our car so I had both hands free to deal with Miss Darcy.
Just two weeks ago I would have been able to do a quick U-turn and be back to where I had come from in no time at all. Today however due to major roadwork's I had to wait in traffic for 10  minutes to get through a set of traffic lights so I could wait in more traffic for another 10 minutes so I could drive in the opposite direction of where I wanted to go to get back to where I started.
As you can imagine the drive back was torture. I was freaking which meant Pierce was freaking so Darcy also decided to start freaking.
We finally got back to the car park and I started looking knowing full well I had no chance of it still being there. After 10 minutes of  searching I finally gave in and went back to my car. By now I had started to get teary. Shit what do I do? OK I will ring Mum. I went to get my phone from the car. Can't find my phone....FUUUUCK my phone was with my wallet.ON.TOP.OF.MY.CAR!
Pierce decided to ask me :"what's worse Mum losing the wallet or your phone?"
ME: "My wallet, without it we have no money and no way to  get  money and aghhhhh"
Pierce all of a sudden realised no money meant no pizza and started to melt down immediately. Having Aspergers means he cannot really relate to my distress but the fact he may NOT get his beloved Domino's Pizza is more then he can take.
I was about to completely lose my mind when the roof of the car started ringing. The phone was still on the roof!!!
It was Mum : "Are you ok Sweetheart? A lady just rang she has your wallet."
ME: "Waaaaaaaa!"
My Mums voice and the fact that someone had found my wallet, looked at my license, rang directory assistance to get my number and phoned to tell me she had it, was the end of me.
ME:"where is she? Where is my wallet?"
Mum:"Well she's on her way to pick her daughter up she'll be home in 20 minutes."
ME: "Shit I have pizza waiting to be picked up.No money!"
Love my Mums guts, she sent her Husband to meet me at Domino's, with money. He took Pierce home and I drove to my new best friends house.
She was in the shower so her son gave me my wallet.Probably a good thing because I would have declared undying love for her or offered her one of my children as a thank you! Amazing lady, she will be getting a personal thank you tomorrow.
It's now 8.30pm. I have mopped (a little frantically), cleaned bathroom, coloured hair and got all four children to bed, if not asleep.
I was not in the greatest of moods. I did hear Pierce mention something about me being a bit irrational...might have been the fact that I kept yelling at them to NOT move off their beds until the floor was dry?
I am back on schedule and sooooo ready for tomorrow night and after tonight I think my children might be a little happier to see me go.
Oh and I really hope my Husband understands why, when he got home from work at 7.30pm with a HUGE LCD TV that a friend gave him and he asked me to help him move it and then suggested I move the telly in our bedroom to the kids room and the new telly to our room and plug all the leads in and tune them in and set up the Playstation 3, was met with very little enthusiasm. I think he is lucky to still be able to walk!

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Products for Autism Community Blog

I am being unfaithful to my beloved Aspergers Rules and am blogging on another page. 
Here is a link to my first post for Products for Autisms Community Blog. I will be posting there twice monthly...

Monday, 30 April 2012

Aspergers Rules 


While visiting a Special Needs Blogging Group page on Facebook recently I read with interest an invitation to participate in an online event highlighting Autism Positivity. Here is a  LINK for you to find out how this event was started and why I am blogging today.

I will leave the philosophising and psychology up to those more knowledgeable and eloquent then me. I would never presume to understand what life with Aspergers is like so will leave that perspective up to those that do also. Instead I  will write this blog for and to my boys who live with Aspergers daily and have on more then one occasion declared they *wish they didn't have Aspergers*. I will write if for the days when they  feel they are not good enough or think that Aspergers makes them them less then their Neurotypical peers. I hope that by seeing what I love about them they will love themselves. I also hope that someone else with Aspergers may read this on a bad day and see the beauty in themselves.

I will not specify which of my boys each thing I love relates to. Some of these things relate to both of them,some a particular boy. When they read it they will know...

You sometimes wish you didn't have Aspergers but I never do. To do so would be to wish I didn't have you. Without Aspergers you would be someone else and that is something I would never wish.

I love that you have taught me to slow down. To think before I speak, to take the time to choose my words carefully, that language is complicated and not everyone hears words the same.

I love that  you can respond to a simple request in a way that makes me smile and shows me who you are and how you think. When I ask, "can you put your pyjamas on?" instead of just "yes" or "no" I get "Submit the request form" or "Please press enter".

I love your absolute honesty.

I love that you could count to 100 when you were four years old and on your first day of school you said "I'm not sure I'm in the right class, they're learning the number 1 and I'm up to 101."

I love that you see the world differently.That Tuesday is not just a day it is also a colour (blue).

I love that on your birthday your favourite present was a ball of string and some sticky tape or one of those gadgets that old people use to pick things up with so they don't have to bend over.

I love that thanks to you I know more about Skylanders and Minecraft then any other almost 40 year old.

I love that what other people think doesn't matter to you (most of the time). If you wanted to wear, a Pirate costume,a police shirt (every day for two years) or even a horse costume, to preschool, you did! If you want to wear fingerless gloves to school, you do. If it's a knights helmet or Army outfit complete with ammo belt that makes you feel  good, you'll wear that too. To the shops, to a party, anywhere!

I love that through your eyes I see the detail instead of a big, boring picture.

I love that when you cuddle me it's because you really,really want to and when you say you love me it means more then when anyone else says it. Quality not quantity, that's you.

I love the funny things you've asked when you haven't understood what I am feeling. Like when you were really little and you would ask "what face is that Mummy?" Or when you saw me cry you asked "Why are your eyes raining?" 

I love that you ALWAYS notice when I've had my hair done or wear a new outfit.

I love that because of you I will never stop learning. That when you ask me about something like an animal in a book, you don't just want to know what it is but where it lives,what it eats, how many of them there are in the world.

I love that when I lose my keys you always know where they are!

I love that when you had to make a Nativity scene at school, you did, entirely out of Lego!

I love that even though you can't figure out clocks and telling the time you find other ways to work out what time it is.Like it's time to go to school when SpongeBob comes on or it's almost bed time when the bats fly over or we have to get Darcy from Preschool after you have your medicine in the afternoon.

I love that even though it takes a bit of work,when you finally trust someone you do so completely.

I love that you always make sure we're on time.

I love when you learn a rule you never break it.

I love that when we see a flag you always know what country it is from.

I love that I will never have to rush through life with you, that you will never grow up sooner then you should and you will never be one of those kids that can't wait to move out of home.  

I love that you believe in justice and being fair . That cheating is not an option. That you will always do what you think is right.

Most of all I love that you have made me strive to be the best Mother I can possibly be because that is what you deserve, nothing less.

Monday, 23 April 2012

30 DAYS OF AUTISM...Day 22

Share For Akian

I had a blog post shared on my page today,  after reading it and watching the video that was posted I felt compelled to share also. 
This video is extremely disturbing and hard to watch but please do and share. It is beyond belief that the teacher involved in this heartless behaviour is still teaching. 

 Help Akian get his apology and stop this teacher from damaging any more of the students she is supposed to be nurturing. I will share some links for more information and to a Facebook page where you can offer support. 

No more Teacher/Bully Web Page.     explains the situation in more detail and unfortunately more audio.

Sign the petition. Give Akian your support on Facebook and share the video. 

Children with autism have difficulties with communication, even those that have high language skills often cannot tell us what is wrong. This makes them prime targets for this type of bullying and it must not be tolerated!

I am blessed with a fantastic school and teachers for my boys. I only wish all children were this lucky.