TO I WISH I DIDN’T HAVE ASPERGERS: #AUTISMPOSITIVITY2012
While visiting a Special Needs Blogging Group page on Facebook recently I read with interest an invitation to participate in an online event highlighting Autism Positivity. Here is a LINK for you to find out how this event was started and why I am blogging today.
I will leave the philosophising and psychology up to those more knowledgeable and eloquent then me. I would never presume to understand what life with Aspergers is like so will leave that perspective up to those that do also. Instead I will write this blog for and to my boys who live with Aspergers daily and have on more then one occasion declared they *wish they didn't have Aspergers*. I will write if for the days when they feel they are not good enough or think that Aspergers makes them them less then their Neurotypical peers. I hope that by seeing what I love about them they will love themselves. I also hope that someone else with Aspergers may read this on a bad day and see the beauty in themselves.
I will not specify which of my boys each thing I love relates to. Some of these things relate to both of them,some a particular boy. When they read it they will know...
You sometimes wish you didn't have Aspergers but I never do. To do so would be to wish I didn't have you. Without Aspergers you would be someone else and that is something I would never wish.
I love that you have taught me to slow down. To think before I speak, to take the time to choose my words carefully, that language is complicated and not everyone hears words the same.
I love that you can respond to a simple request in a way that makes me smile and shows me who you are and how you think. When I ask, "can you put your pyjamas on?" instead of just "yes" or "no" I get "Submit the request form" or "Please press enter".
I love your absolute honesty.
I love that you could count to 100 when you were four years old and on your first day of school you said "I'm not sure I'm in the right class, they're learning the number 1 and I'm up to 101."
I love that you see the world differently.That Tuesday is not just a day it is also a colour (blue).
I love that on your birthday your favourite present was a ball of string and some sticky tape or one of those gadgets that old people use to pick things up with so they don't have to bend over.
I love that thanks to you I know more about Skylanders and Minecraft then any other almost 40 year old.
I love that what other people think doesn't matter to you (most of the time). If you wanted to wear, a Pirate costume,a police shirt (every day for two years) or even a horse costume, to preschool, you did! If you want to wear fingerless gloves to school, you do. If it's a knights helmet or Army outfit complete with ammo belt that makes you feel good, you'll wear that too. To the shops, to a party, anywhere!
I love that through your eyes I see the detail instead of a big, boring picture.
I love that when you cuddle me it's because you really,really want to and when you say you love me it means more then when anyone else says it. Quality not quantity, that's you.
I love the funny things you've asked when you haven't understood what I am feeling. Like when you were really little and you would ask "what face is that Mummy?" Or when you saw me cry you asked "Why are your eyes raining?"
I love that you ALWAYS notice when I've had my hair done or wear a new outfit.
I love that because of you I will never stop learning. That when you ask me about something like an animal in a book, you don't just want to know what it is but where it lives,what it eats, how many of them there are in the world.
I love that when I lose my keys you always know where they are!
I love that when you had to make a Nativity scene at school, you did, entirely out of Lego!
I love that even though you can't figure out clocks and telling the time you find other ways to work out what time it is.Like it's time to go to school when SpongeBob comes on or it's almost bed time when the bats fly over or we have to get Darcy from Preschool after you have your medicine in the afternoon.
I love that even though it takes a bit of work,when you finally trust someone you do so completely.
I love that you always make sure we're on time.
I love when you learn a rule you never break it.
I love that when we see a flag you always know what country it is from.
I love that I will never have to rush through life with you, that you will never grow up sooner then you should and you will never be one of those kids that can't wait to move out of home.
I love that you believe in justice and being fair . That cheating is not an option. That you will always do what you think is right.
Most of all I love that you have made me strive to be the best Mother I can possibly be because that is what you deserve, nothing less.